commuting and narcissim


Sorry for not blogging for half a year. If I say 'I'm real busy' I will be lucky if I convince half of you, but if I say 'I'm real lazy' I bet 100% of you will believe. Haha. The truth is, I've contemplated shutting down this medium that exposes myself to liability left and right, and since this is not a blog about how I woke up and brushed my teeth and ate a cup of cereal and partied half way around town (which is unlikely btw, for those who have gaping mouths now, close it wahaha). Issue and tissues discuss certain social, economic and even certain (gasp!) political issues and decisions, which is exactly the kind of blog that brandishes the banner "Here! Here! HERE it is! Come and sue me!" and so, you guys get the picture. I definitely do not wish to turn up in court prematurely lol.

Today's issue of the day: Commuting.

Ah, commuting. A safe and harmless topic that tugs at everyone's heart strings, or at least those poor commuters. No no, I'm not about to whine about any parliamentary decisions or price hikes, lest something untoward happens, but I'm just going to make a list of TOP 3 MOST QUESTIONABLE COMMUTERS.

In 3rd place, the ever present 'Giggly secondary schoolgirls or Sweaty secondary schoolboys'

That's it. Now now, don't deny it, ALL of us passed through this phase before, and I'm sure we caused much discomfort to other commuters. We were a bunch, a huge bunch of monkeys talking chatting laughing sniggering making jokes guffawing... you name it, we did it. Of course, this category sometimes do not irritate people but trigger off in them a lovely memory of being young again; you know, the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you look at younger citizens and go 'ahh, we were like that before' Then again, more often than not, we/they irritate more than we/they please. When the noise levels climb faster than your stock index in a bull market, you know when the threshold is reached. Everyone will start glaring and 'tsk-ing' you'll wonder if those young people are deaf or muffled by their own voices. This is not particularly attacking secondary school students, primary school kids forming a gang and hitting Orchard constitute such a disturbance too. (And no, I do not have anything against school going students if you are wondering).

HC's additional input: Just the other day, I was taking the bus home after a long day of school and I vaguely heard humming. Laughter. Humming and more laughter. In a flash, some off-key bad singing by a trio replaced the humming and laughter. 3 secondary school girls sitting at the back of the bus actually plucked up enough courage and guts to start singing in the bus, rather loudly might I add, to the rather popular song at that time. I think it was 'tong hua' by someone. It was absolutely horrible. How in the world can they ever live it down I wonder. Well, it's their own reputation they decided to put at stake, so all I can say is, good luck and please do not try and take part in school superstar or something like that. You do not want to be recognised. Really you don't.

Peak Seasons to spot them: During holidays. Especially during holidays when schools have school concerts and school musicals and students start missing each other and have class reunions and gatherings. Buses and MRTs are as badly hit as the other.

In 2nd place, the 'PDA-ers'

The PDA-ers, contrary to belief, are not those who own PDAs in this context, but those who engage in Public Display of Affection. All the kissing, coddling, fondling... and *toot* whatever. Just by looking at them, you will wonder whether they were super-glued together before they left the house in a freak accident or something. Have they no shame?! "Get a room!" is right! They could promote the hotel and tourism industry at the same time too. 2 birds with 1 stone theory. Such a class of questionable commuters will cause everyone else within glancing vicinity to roll their eyes and this time round, no warm fuzzy feeling but a 'goosebump-y' one would emerge. Not only do they cause discomfort to other commuters, they taint the verdant airs of our graceful society. Such exhibitionists should be penalised I tell you. They may be classified as 'mild-flashers-of-the-couple-kind'. In a way they are 'flashing', just look at how they are imposing on the public (victims) what we have no wish to see or be exposed to. Recent trends show such 'mild-flashers' are starting to slide down the age scale.

Peak Seasons to spot them: I have no idea actually. Valentine's Day? They are around most of the time, just specks here and there. Randomly they'll appear and the trains are more likely to be their breeding grounds than buses. Oh. Do forgive the pun.

Top of the list, the POSERS.

I do not like the posers. Nothing but absolute loathing. Firstly to let you know what exactly the posers bunch are. They are those whom you might call wannabe pole-dancers. Sometimes they gyrate (due to the train movements) but most of the time they just pose. And pose. And pose somemore. Notice the poles provided on the train, 2 per carriage. They are to facilitate those poor commuters who are already unlucky enough not to get seats already, after losing to those "Huge-Assed-People and My-Dainty-Bags-Are-Heavier-Than-Thou" classes of people who are in their own world altogether. They (HAPs and MDBAHTTs) will have to be left for another day since the loathing for them are straightforwardly understandable. These poles are not for wannabe pole dancers, for lack of suitable poles to practice their moves on. Please go install one in your own house or something to satisfy your dancing needs. These pole dancers, they hog the pole and treat it as their own personal property for their sole enjoyment. Well excuse me, but obviously they do not understand the concept of communal property. Share! Bad enough that it's already peak hours where everyone is rushing and the train is jammed, you still want to deprive poor commuters something to hang on for their dear life? Are you only happy when you start a human domino chain long enough from the start to the end of the train? Well it might get into the Guiness Book of Records for longest human dominoes but well, I hope their reward for you (along with the other 11 posers) for starting it will be international shame that will beat William Hung(or any other shameful event you can think of). How do they hog the pole you ask? By: a) with their back leaning against the pole with their head thrown back and arms crossed behind them at their butt level b) with their hands crossing in front of them and hugging the pole for their dear life.

Peak Seasons: ESPECIALLY DURING RUSH HOURS. Which makes it all the more terrible.

My intention/motive behind this article (so you guys have no need to second-guess): For the betterment of the society. Please, read this and take heed. If you are guilty of them, whether you have the intention behind your acts or not, change for the better. We will welcome you with open arms back into the light if you will mend your ways and all that wahahaha. Ok I shall stop that "holier-than-thou" crap. Just change so that all of us can lead a better life.

Disclaimer warning: No responsibility whatsoever shall be accrued to me for whatever mentioned in the article. It is written in a non-professional, non-business and not for profit context for the amusement of the owner and the readers. The statements made are strictly opinions and nothing more.

I really want to write about NARCISSIM. I've been hit by a fresh new wave again. I have to let it all out. But no. This entry is already too long and I have no wish to drone and relegate this pertinent issue of NARCISSIM to second class afterthought filler article. I'll give it first class treatment next issue. I promise. Till then!