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Wallowing
Monday, May 02, 2005 / 2:50 AM

Welcome to my/your weekly dose of issues and tissues. I am so lazy, I cannot even guarantee you a weekly update. Ask those secondary school buddies of mine, they can tell you my motto when I was studying. Back to this week's topic.

What can you wallow in? Mud? (well if you want to, in the most literal sense) Misery? (close...) Self-pity? (yeah now you hit the mark)


I will discuss the idea of wallowing in self-pity, by answering the most basic 5Ws and a H. The polygamous husband with that many wives. Not forgetting to cover the cause and effect model along the way.


What is self-pity?

Self-pity here is described as a stage in which one cries out "WHY ME!" with passion. Or anything similar along that line. Usually a wallower will start performing little comforting actions or demand that people exhibit comforting acts towards them. In short, they wish to be comforted, self or by others is fine.
Usually confused with plain attention seeking.


Why do people wallow in self-pity?

To wallow in self-pity, I suppose one must possess these qualities first:

1. High level of narcissism
If you think that you are the one and only person that matters the most, on a certain level, you will wallow in self-pity. The world revolves around you, and if any event or occurrence strikes, you will feel that the worst person on planet earth is you and only you. In this case, you will be blinded to the other more serious and shattering happenings around you on other people. Large scale mishaps (e.g. earthquakes and tsunami) will be rendered peanut status compared to your 'oh so woeful sob story that is so 'earthshakingly' devastating' Oh. Please pardon my pun.

2. Low level of self esteem
I feel that self esteem is the regulating mechanism in your mentality to help you get back on your two feet after any mental blows. If you think you are able to lead your life confidently, you will. Power to those who are able to see that life has to go on even though you are shortchanged. Low level of self esteem will just prolong your periods of wallowing.


When do people wallow in self-pity? Who wallows in self-pity?

I shall answer those 2 together. People wallow when they are badly hit by certain events, examples being bad results, bad break-ups, bad financial cases, or simply put, any bad situations. Who you ask? Those with the abovementioned qualities in the [Why do people wallow in self-pity?] section. Most people do wallow for a while. Even the strongest person with zero narcissism and moderate self esteem (too high is not good people) will take a reflective moment to consider their failure. Just by questioning "Why ME?" is already considered basic wallowing. Those who do not ask "Why ME?' do not wallow in self-pity, I guess. I said I guess. Who am I to judge anyway?


Where do people wallow in self-pity is such a silly question I do not want to insult anyone by answering that.


How do people wallow in self-pity?
There is the basic wallowing and the advanced wallowing. The Basic one, I am quite sure most of us went through the process at least once in our lives so I will not elaborate. The Advanced one is characterized by prolonged periods of wallowing. Which is torturous. To anyone, even yourself, if you can manage to wallow a little OUT of your self-pity to think that it is torturous. The epitome of wallowing is frightful. Not to mention traumatic and I do not wish to frighten anyone here on issues and tissues. Especially not little children who stumble here, I want them to leave here with their innocence unscathed. (Though some may already be eternally scarred just by reading other articles posted here.)

Hope this is not boring you all again. Maybe next time I shall discuss how to quit boring my dear readers of issues and tissues.