Bad English

Can you stand bad English? Bad as in those really terrible kinds. Some examples:

The famous few:

1.All your base are belong to us.<--can you stand that?!?!
2.Especial for you; what a site to behold <--- spelling errors!!! ARGH!
3.I'll be there for you, as an oxygen...<--- an oxygen!! let me see you quantify it!! oxygen is not a countable noun!
4. She will decided tomorrow <-- tenses tenses!!!!

(I am guilty of no.4 most of the time. Therefore I am no saint myself.)

HC's justification: To err is human.

ARGH! I do not mean to sound like some underpaid primary school English teacher BUT we have all these errors popping up everywhere. "Where?" You ask. In those cheap notebooks that cost a dollar for one, especially those made in china, taiwan, korea, japan and the likes. You can find such glaring errors in certain t-shirts, which, sad to say, also originate from the above countries. Only young girls(a selected few that wears clothes bought by mom at a pasar malam) and the mentioned mothers themselves (i.e. auntie category). Here are some reasons why people continue to wear them/ use such products:

a. The item is at such a low, must-buy price that such errors are negligible.
b. They will only wear it/use it at home so nobody else will ever know except their immediate family members.
c. They do not come from English speaking backgrounds.
d. They are illiterate.

In conclusion: To err is human. Yes I said that in the beginning. You must be thinking that those QC wings of the manufacturing department should be forgiven for their negligence since they are only human too. Wait. What are computers there for? Spell check anyone? If you want to say that the human being operating the spell check will err, fine, but statistically speaking, the products out on the market definitely do not conform to the idea that errors in English are unintentional. Almost 99% of the time the cheap notebooks you pick up, there are bound to be plentiful mistakes.

Well I can certainly live with errors in such notebooks, since it might just jolly well be the reason why it is so inexpensive. For all you know, those weird QCs which check the products might just decide to submit proposals to jack up the price to $4 a book because of the perfect English they have on their cute little covers. The status of the notebook would be elevated to professional class despite it's cute-ness.

Erhem. Back to this week's issue: Bad English. After our PM Lee urged us to drop our 'lahs' and be better understood, this topic popped up. We do not speak bad English, like for example committing all the above errors (1-4) while having a conversation, but our singlish has often made us difficult for non-Singaporeans to understand. Therefore it depends on how one defines bad English.

It all lies in individualistic perceptions.

And now, presenting the story of Narcissus... in all that HC can remember...

Long ago in ancient Greece there lived a mortal by the name of Narcissus. He was a pretty good-looking fellow. Oh wait. He should be astoundingly handsome or dashing since he spurned the love of many, including Echo, a nymph (haha bet you all did not know that). Well, rejected Echo decided to live in the mountainous regions and pined away for her love till nothing was left of her except her sad, pleading voice. (Myth Of Echo) *chilling*.
Well someone complained, and hence Narcissus was cursed by Nemesis to suffer the pangs of unrequited love. This curse was fulfilled when Narcissus became entranced by his reflection in the pool and tried to seduce the beautiful boy, not realizing it was himself he was looking at. He died in the end, desiring himself and transformed into a flower by the name of--- you guessed it, Narcissus.

That's why Narcissus grows by the pond?

I will take my leave now. Sorry for late update again!