Greek Mythology.

WARNING: LONG ARTICLE AHEAD>>> READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Once upon a time I was at Tampines Regional Library. Actually MOST of the time I am at Tampines Regional Library but for the sake of this article let us treat it as such. I was alone, apparently opting to pick out some good book to bundle home and enjoy. This book with a grasping title caught my eye. The title: The Golden Ass.

Ignorant as I was, I did not associate it with Greek mythology when I picked it up. Leafing through a few pages, and reading some, it began to dawn upon me that the book was nothing about Asses, be it the animal kind or the anal kind. The book tells us of the heart-wrenching sob-love story about Cupid and Psyche. Which translates into the association between love and soul, each trait as represented by each character. Cupid/Eros embodies love (if you had not known before this [!]) whereas Psyche represents the soul. How beautiful. Let us continue with the story.

In ancient times, in some faraway kingdom lived the royal family, which consisted of the king and queen and three princesses. All three princesses were gorgeous, but the youngest was the most beautiful of them all. She was Psyche. The elder 2 princesses were already married to some kings of some faraway kingdom and lived their pompous royal life. Wondering why the most beautiful of them all could not be wed? Wonder no more. (1) Psyche's beauty was too exquisite and astounding men worshipped her instead of desiring to marry her. They hailed her as the New Aphrodite.

Well jealousy rears its ugly head in Mount Olympia, and Aphrodite herself was unhappy with the fact that the civilians worshipped Psyche now instead of her. She demanded that her son, Eros (aka Cupid) curse her by firing an arrow at some hideous monster, which would be Psyche's husband and let her live a life of torment.

(At this point of the story I want the readers of issues and tissues to erase any idea of Cupid as a cherub. Do away with the idea of Cupid as a baby as it will affect the story henceforth. Imagine him as a teenager/adult. Grow him up. Else the story will sound paedophilic in the later parts. If you have trouble here's a link [warning: contains a certain level of nudity but it will not be rated NC-16 or whatever. Nothing that will scar you eternally. It is a beautiful painting by William Bouguereau (French, 1825-1905) of a picture of Cupid and Psyche.]) Please do not click on the link and complain because you have been cautioned.

Well Cupid being the obedient son went forth and approached Psyche and--- Who will ever guess that he would fall in love with the one claimed to be the New Aphrodite? Definitely not his mother. Fall in love with her he did, and he cooked up some marriage to fool his mom.

Psyche's father consulted an oracle regarding his youngest daughter's marriage and returned with devastating news: she was to be wed to a fearsome monster in a few days time, and he should prepare an entourage, sending her off to the mountain where she would wait for her husband to arrive. Fast forward to the day of her marriage, she arrived at the peak of the mountain, and after bidding a tearful farewell to her family and friends she cried some more, before deciding to commit suicide (2) and jumped off.

She was carried by the mighty West Wind (Zephyrus) and landed gracefully in this palace-like area whereby she was led to a royally furnished bed and told to rest. Her husband came to her at night, and consummated their marriage. He came to her every night as well, but the only catch is that she was unable to see him. He only gave her 2 commands, which was not too demand to see his appearance and something else I forgot. (haha) Where's the ugly monster you ask? Who is her husband? If you wish for me to spell it out here it is. The ugly monster is non-existent and her husband is none other than Cupid himself.

Since he came to her every night and left early the next morning, Psyche never got to know who her husband was (3). She got bored eventually, and begged her husband to allow her to visit her sisters or allow them to visit her. He relented, knowing full well that her evil-minded sisters will do the both of them harm. They arrived some days later, and jealousy reared its ugly head again in this story. Her sisters were jealous of Psyche's lifestyle and plotted to harm her. They told her that her husband was indeed a terrifying flesh-eating monster and Psyche should do the world a favour and rid it.

That following night, Psyche, with a dagger in hand and an oil lamp in the other, approached her sleeping husband timidly. She brought the lamp close to his face, and whom should she see but Cupid himself. Shocked by his handsome-ness or whatever she accidentally dripped a drop of scalding oil onto her beloved and that woke him up and away he flew. Cleverly he parted with this sentence "You are the wrong sister that I have married!"

Well this spurred the other 2 sisters on and thinking that Cupid was meant to be their lover, jumped down at the mountain thinking that each would be his rightful bride but in the end met their rightful end.

The story does not end there though. This is too long a summary already but my major 3 points have been highlighted and I shall stop here. If you wish, I shall continue the remainder of the story in the next article. To this week's topic!

(1) Psyche's beauty was too exquisite and astounding men worshipped her instead of desiring to marry her.

This shows that one should not be too beautiful or have too high standards (because you are beautiful). You will be left on the shelf otherwise. Often glamourized as "I chose single-hood because no one can tie me down"

(2)...before deciding to commit suicide...

As said before, death should not be employed as a means to solve problems. It never worked out and will never, in real life scenarios. For Psyche it did, only because she is a myth. If you are confident that Cupid will be your husband, I have nothing else to say except that I'm sorry that you have to read this. Children, do not try this at home too.

(3) Since he came to her every night and left early the next morning, Psyche never got to know who her husband was.

This story was described by certain scholars to have adultery content because of the above act of the husband leaving the 'mistress' in the morning. In modern adultery the husband hides the mistress from the wife (family), whereas in the story Cupid (the husband) hides his wife from his mother (family). See the resemblance yet? What are your takes, my dear issues and tissue-ers?

What a loooooooooong article! Phew~ Concluding remark: I never borrowed the book, contrary to popular belief. I went off and borrowed some other interesting economics book instead. I was researching on Narcissus and came across Love and Soul and decided to write about this. With regards to why the book is called "The Golden Ass", I would have to leave it for another time.

Ciao~

Bad English

Can you stand bad English? Bad as in those really terrible kinds. Some examples:

The famous few:

1.All your base are belong to us.<--can you stand that?!?!
2.Especial for you; what a site to behold <--- spelling errors!!! ARGH!
3.I'll be there for you, as an oxygen...<--- an oxygen!! let me see you quantify it!! oxygen is not a countable noun!
4. She will decided tomorrow <-- tenses tenses!!!!

(I am guilty of no.4 most of the time. Therefore I am no saint myself.)

HC's justification: To err is human.

ARGH! I do not mean to sound like some underpaid primary school English teacher BUT we have all these errors popping up everywhere. "Where?" You ask. In those cheap notebooks that cost a dollar for one, especially those made in china, taiwan, korea, japan and the likes. You can find such glaring errors in certain t-shirts, which, sad to say, also originate from the above countries. Only young girls(a selected few that wears clothes bought by mom at a pasar malam) and the mentioned mothers themselves (i.e. auntie category). Here are some reasons why people continue to wear them/ use such products:

a. The item is at such a low, must-buy price that such errors are negligible.
b. They will only wear it/use it at home so nobody else will ever know except their immediate family members.
c. They do not come from English speaking backgrounds.
d. They are illiterate.

In conclusion: To err is human. Yes I said that in the beginning. You must be thinking that those QC wings of the manufacturing department should be forgiven for their negligence since they are only human too. Wait. What are computers there for? Spell check anyone? If you want to say that the human being operating the spell check will err, fine, but statistically speaking, the products out on the market definitely do not conform to the idea that errors in English are unintentional. Almost 99% of the time the cheap notebooks you pick up, there are bound to be plentiful mistakes.

Well I can certainly live with errors in such notebooks, since it might just jolly well be the reason why it is so inexpensive. For all you know, those weird QCs which check the products might just decide to submit proposals to jack up the price to $4 a book because of the perfect English they have on their cute little covers. The status of the notebook would be elevated to professional class despite it's cute-ness.

Erhem. Back to this week's issue: Bad English. After our PM Lee urged us to drop our 'lahs' and be better understood, this topic popped up. We do not speak bad English, like for example committing all the above errors (1-4) while having a conversation, but our singlish has often made us difficult for non-Singaporeans to understand. Therefore it depends on how one defines bad English.

It all lies in individualistic perceptions.

And now, presenting the story of Narcissus... in all that HC can remember...

Long ago in ancient Greece there lived a mortal by the name of Narcissus. He was a pretty good-looking fellow. Oh wait. He should be astoundingly handsome or dashing since he spurned the love of many, including Echo, a nymph (haha bet you all did not know that). Well, rejected Echo decided to live in the mountainous regions and pined away for her love till nothing was left of her except her sad, pleading voice. (Myth Of Echo) *chilling*.
Well someone complained, and hence Narcissus was cursed by Nemesis to suffer the pangs of unrequited love. This curse was fulfilled when Narcissus became entranced by his reflection in the pool and tried to seduce the beautiful boy, not realizing it was himself he was looking at. He died in the end, desiring himself and transformed into a flower by the name of--- you guessed it, Narcissus.

That's why Narcissus grows by the pond?

I will take my leave now. Sorry for late update again!

Why are we obsessed with how people think of us?

This week's article is here! Is it on time? Yes? Phew~ No? Told you I was lazy!! hahaha...
Topic: Why are we obsessed with how people think of us.

Face it certain people are. Before I start off another round of debate about narcissus* and grasses, here's how I link things up. You preen in front of your mirror; you are self-conscious. You are self-conscious because you do not wish to look like a tramp in front of others and disgrace yourself and your family and your ancestors and whatever. You want to look your best when you step out of your house. Now I see someone scrolling to the right to type in the tagboard --- wait wait not yet not yet. I have not reached a conclusion yet. Give me a chance man.

I understand that self-consciousness does not necessitate into an obsession, but more often than not it leads straight into it, like a pretty girl rushing into her prom. Being self-conscious is a good thing; it shows people that you respect yourself by taking time to ensure that you look neat and presentable. Those 'perfect' windswept and casual looks do not come by easily I suppose (Those that come by easily are usually not very nice and they look sloppy.) My point: There is a very thin line between an obsession with how people view us and us being self-conscious. Being OVERLY self-conscious to the point of fussing about everything from fashion apparel to measuring the precise length of your pretty nail(s) leads to an obsession, be it with how people think of you or how you think of yourself. Oh and by the way, an unhealthy preoccupation with oneself is considered NARCISSISM. Next.

You can be obsessed with how people think of you as a person, whether they think you look handsome/pretty enough, or whether you meet their expectations as a good friend or any other role for that matter. You worry whether you fit into other people's regimented mould of perfection, determined by them taking society's predominant votes and values into consideration. See that? Those 'obsessors' are worrying about nothing and trying to live up to other people's expectations. Living up to other's expectations is not wrong, I just feel that you should live up to your own before trying to live up to someone else's.

If you cannot convince yourself, chances are that you cannot convince others too.

Anyway, human beings are not meant to judge. If we are, anybody can be Chief Justice (!) without having to undergo that many years of legal training and the jury would only consist of one person, not so many, such a waste of tax. It is precisely the point that we are not meant to judge, which shows we do not have to fear how we are being judged by peers, especially peers. Take their 'judgement' with a pinch of salt, and decide what you want to do about it. Again, the thin line between judgement and criticism shall be carefully treaded upon. They are similar, but criticisms often have the said subject (person being criticised) in mind, whereas judgement is often just a one-sided statement made with not much objective(s).

So therefore, in conclusion, being self-conscious is fine, obsessing with how you look/how others think of you is not very good (any obsession is not very healthy either); criticisms can be good, judgements are not. Even though I state that we should all not try and judge, we still often do. It is really difficult to try to change that bad habit, if anyone has it as a bad habit(ME!). So let me take this opportunity to apologise to all those people (whether I know you or not) that I have judged before, whether knowingly or unknowingly; I AM SORRY FOR JUDGING YOU (ALL). I am not Judge Amy. wahaha.

Whoa. It's quite a mouthful now. Time for my personal statement: Boring you again? I am so sorry too. How about trying to help me think about topics that I can discuss so I can effectively capture your interest? Let the tagging begin!

I feel like writing about the whole story of poor *Narcissus in my next issue and tissue article! Or do you all know it already?! Haha...
Till next time~

Welcome to my/your weekly dose of issues and tissues. I am so lazy, I cannot even guarantee you a weekly update. Ask those secondary school buddies of mine, they can tell you my motto when I was studying. Back to this week's topic.

What can you wallow in? Mud? (well if you want to, in the most literal sense) Misery? (close...) Self-pity? (yeah now you hit the mark)


I will discuss the idea of wallowing in self-pity, by answering the most basic 5Ws and a H. The polygamous husband with that many wives. Not forgetting to cover the cause and effect model along the way.


What is self-pity?

Self-pity here is described as a stage in which one cries out "WHY ME!" with passion. Or anything similar along that line. Usually a wallower will start performing little comforting actions or demand that people exhibit comforting acts towards them. In short, they wish to be comforted, self or by others is fine.
Usually confused with plain attention seeking.


Why do people wallow in self-pity?

To wallow in self-pity, I suppose one must possess these qualities first:

1. High level of narcissism
If you think that you are the one and only person that matters the most, on a certain level, you will wallow in self-pity. The world revolves around you, and if any event or occurrence strikes, you will feel that the worst person on planet earth is you and only you. In this case, you will be blinded to the other more serious and shattering happenings around you on other people. Large scale mishaps (e.g. earthquakes and tsunami) will be rendered peanut status compared to your 'oh so woeful sob story that is so 'earthshakingly' devastating' Oh. Please pardon my pun.

2. Low level of self esteem
I feel that self esteem is the regulating mechanism in your mentality to help you get back on your two feet after any mental blows. If you think you are able to lead your life confidently, you will. Power to those who are able to see that life has to go on even though you are shortchanged. Low level of self esteem will just prolong your periods of wallowing.


When do people wallow in self-pity? Who wallows in self-pity?

I shall answer those 2 together. People wallow when they are badly hit by certain events, examples being bad results, bad break-ups, bad financial cases, or simply put, any bad situations. Who you ask? Those with the abovementioned qualities in the [Why do people wallow in self-pity?] section. Most people do wallow for a while. Even the strongest person with zero narcissism and moderate self esteem (too high is not good people) will take a reflective moment to consider their failure. Just by questioning "Why ME?" is already considered basic wallowing. Those who do not ask "Why ME?' do not wallow in self-pity, I guess. I said I guess. Who am I to judge anyway?


Where do people wallow in self-pity is such a silly question I do not want to insult anyone by answering that.


How do people wallow in self-pity?
There is the basic wallowing and the advanced wallowing. The Basic one, I am quite sure most of us went through the process at least once in our lives so I will not elaborate. The Advanced one is characterized by prolonged periods of wallowing. Which is torturous. To anyone, even yourself, if you can manage to wallow a little OUT of your self-pity to think that it is torturous. The epitome of wallowing is frightful. Not to mention traumatic and I do not wish to frighten anyone here on issues and tissues. Especially not little children who stumble here, I want them to leave here with their innocence unscathed. (Though some may already be eternally scarred just by reading other articles posted here.)

Hope this is not boring you all again. Maybe next time I shall discuss how to quit boring my dear readers of issues and tissues.